Aim At Nothing, Hit Nothing
If you aim at nothing, you hit nothing.
Let’s talk about the idea of wandering around life aimlessly, searching for your next thing. I get the appeal of wandering aimlessly for a little while during different seasons of life. It feels like a break to explore, to figure out the next step, and to breathe a sigh of relief. I’ve spent enough time wandering aimlessly to realize that when there is no target and nothing to move towards, there is no purpose in any step which feels like there is no real reason to be doing any type of action. When I’ve wandered aimlessly in the past in my professional life, it showed up as me taking the job on the path of least resistance, whether I wanted it or not. It showed up as “rolling with the punches” so often that I felt walked over instead of feeling like I was in control. After all, I was the one who chose this aimless path - why did it feel like I was no longer in charge? When I’ve wandered aimlessly in my personal life, I ended up feeling more disconnected and lost than before. I didn’t know where I was going, so I didn’t know who to ask for help, so I stayed in my own space trying to figure it out alone.
My seasons of aimless wandering have resulted in me being more confused than I was before.
Because when you aim at nothing, you hit nothing. And when you’re not aiming, who’s to say you won’t end up back where you started? I know for me, I’m not interested in going back where I started, so I am always aiming at something. That something is sometimes a very big thing, and sometimes it is a very small thing - I’m in charge, so I get to choose. Same goes for you if you’re up for it.
For example, after I left my last job in the 9-5 world I decided to take a break from work. While I was giving myself freedom to explore and discover what I wanted to do next, I still had something to aim for even if it wasn’t professional in nature. At that time it was moving from North Carolina to Colorado and ensuring we stayed on my strict packing schedule (no last minute craziness, here). I wasn’t aimed professionally, but I was aimed personally. That aim kept me moving forward and during all those packing tasks, I had the mental freedom to think on my next professional move.
Another example is when I truly reclaimed my fitness and health habits and rebuilt them from almost nothing. In the past, I was worried about the number on the scale and fitness for vanity sake - I was technically aiming for something, but it was misplaced and never brought me happiness. So when I chose to reclaim my fitness in the fall of 2021, I removed those specific targets (number on scale and vanity) and just started moving in ways that were sustainable and empowering to me. I didn’t have a specific target other than feeling healthy and getting stronger, and while that may feel ambiguous to some, I knew I was aimed at something - building a sustainable, enjoyable, long-term habit. That kept me consistent, and my consistency brought me results, and my results brought me motivation to keep moving forward and leveling up my habits. What started out initially as a small target (moving my body) morphed into a life-changing habit that is a huge part of who I am. Now that I’ve built the strength and confidence in my fitness by starting low and simple and consistent, I’m training to climb to one of the seven summits of the world in February 2024 - Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania, Africa. The past version of myself would have never thought herself strong enough for this challenge; the current version of myself knows I’m more than strong enough, mentally and physically, to do what it takes to live on a mountain for 8 days and climb to over 19,000 feet.
Now that I’ve shared some examples from my life, let’s look at some different ways to wander without being completely aimless - there’s another way to view these seasons of discovery throughout life. Some of us can feel like we have to remove all parameters and focus in order to be fully open and ready for the opportunities life has for us. I think that’s putting way too much responsibility on the universe and taking none of it as your own. Even during seasons of discovery and exploration, we can be intentional. Remember, intentionality leads to progress.
Let’s say you’re on a new path of professional discovery. You don’t know what you want to do next, so you’re staying open to anything and everything. I applaud you for being open to all opportunities, but when we’re open to everything we may lose the chance to attract the right thing. Okay, so how do you find the right thing? (It’s important to note I am not a career counselor…this is from my experience.) Start by recognizing what you truly love to do, then what you’re naturally really good at, and finally what you can get paid for. Some people call this the “genius zone”, and it’s also known as your Ikigai (an ancient Japanese philosophy which includes a fourth section of what the world needs). The purpose of this exercise is to find the overlap of all these areas to determine where your next professional step may lie. Learning where these areas overlap can help give you an initial direction to aim for, and as you make progress you can choose to adjust your path accordingly.
Now let’s say you’re on a path of personal discovery. This can look a million different ways, so for this example let’s use health and fitness (they say write about what you know, and I know this!). You’ve decided that you want to become a healthier and stronger version of yourself, but there are so many ways to do that, that you don’t know where to begin. When you aren’t sure, you can turn to the thousands of fitness influencers on social media who don’t know you, who try to push dangerous and fad detox diets, and who don’t really care about your health and habits. (I’m painting with a broad brush. Some influencers absolutely care and prove that they do. Stay with me, y’all.) Instead of turning to what people say you should do, why not turn to the person who knows more about you than anyone else? YOURSELF! You know how you self-sabotage your health, you know what movements feel best to you, and you typically know what foods fuel you in the most satisfying way. Start by aiming for one, small change in your routine. It could be more water and less alcohol, 10 more minutes of daily movement than whatever you’re doing now, or a daily gratitude journaling practice (mental health is health!). Start by aiming at something small so you can make forward progress, then when you are consistent at hitting that first target, expand it and level it up. Those small actions will lead to huge results, but you have to start small. Most people are afraid to be seen as a beginner starting simple and small, but not you. I can tell that you are willing to put in the work from the starting line to get where you want to go. And I’m proud of you for that!
Those that love to aimlessly wander say that “if it’s meant to be, it will be”. Again, I think that’s not taking enough personal responsibility and placing too much on external factors, leaving your life up to chance. Since we’re in the habit of taking full responsibility for our lives, let’s change that to “What is meant to be will be but only if you are ready to see it and show up to claim it.” No one will hand deliver your purpose or passion or focus or that next thing to you. You need some type of focus - something to aim at - that will keep you in forward progress each day. The more you are focused on getting a little better, at moving forward a millimeter each day, the more you are showing the world you are ready to get closer to that next big thing. You are putting in the effort and intention to move yourself closer and closer. And you know what typically happens when you do that? That thing you’re looking for starts to move closer to you in an attempt to meet you along the way. But you have to keep going, keep showing up, and keep moving forward.
Only forward - never backward. You got this.