Leveling Up Requires Letting Go
A lot of people are afraid to fail and use their “fear of failure” as a reason for why they don’t reach their goals. Someone who is a bit more self-aware may know they’re not afraid to fail, they’re afraid to succeed. What I have come to realize is that it’s not the success that scares us. What we are really scared of is what we will have to let go of on our journey to success. Because if you want to level up, there’s a lot you must let go.
When you think about it, it starts making more and more sense. Where you are right now is known and relatively under your control. You may not love it where you are, but you KNOW it and you don’t want to let go of knowing.
When you start working on your personal growth by engaging in a different type of conversation, or limiting your interactions with certain types of people, or becoming more self-aware, or any other way, you will have to let go of something. Actually, you’ll have to let go of a lot of things. You’ll have to let go of outdated patterns of your thoughts and your actions. You’ll have to let go of relationships that are not meant for this new version of yourself. You’ll have to let go of the negative self-talk and the things that trigger it. Those all sound like things you’d want to let go of, right? When you’re in the moment though, when you’re actively making choices about whether you will evolve yourself or you’ll repeat what you’ve been doing, the fear of losing those things gets a little stronger.
There cannot be any leveling up in life without letting go. To level up - at home, at work, in your mind, in your actions - you’ll be required to let go.
Think about the ways in which you want to grow yourself. It could be practicing more empowering self-talk, or starting a journaling habit, or creating a fitness routine you enjoy, or taking your business to the next phase of growth. Let’s use these four examples to visualize this concept that leveling up requires letting go.
Practicing Empowering Self-Talk
This can be a hard one, especially if you have crafted an image that includes self-deprecating humor. You like to be seen as the one who “keeps it real” and so you talk down about and to yourself because you believe it makes you more relatable and potentially, easier to like.
If you want to level up your self-talk, you have to let go of your old language patterns that include that self-deprecating humor or those thoughts of “this is just who I am - I’m messy, always late, not good with names, not meant to have a successful business, etc.” You have to let go of the desire to tear yourself down so that others feel more comfortable. You do not have to sacrifice your self-confidence and self-worth to make someone else feel less threatened by you. Spoiler alert: some people will be intimidated by your new outlook on yourself and your life. They won’t understand where the “real you” went when you start talking to yourself with respect and love. If those people start showing up after you start leveling up, it’s time to let them go.
Starting a Journaling Habit
Most people say they don’t have time for journaling, which is not a very unique excuse. We all have different outlooks on the time we’re given (too much, not enough, only short windows, not the right time, not undistracted, etc). The people who have created consistent journaling habits did so because they made the time. When you start leveling up, you start learning that successful people have as many responsibilities as everyone else. The difference is that they’ve learned if they want something to happen, they MAKE the time. If you wait around to find it, you’ll be waiting forever.
Journaling can also be intimidating because it means you’ll have to let go of something else you’ve been filling time with. Like social media. Let’s be real - we all spend too much time on social media. I know I do and I have a plan to change that. If you’ve always wanted to start a journaling habit but never have, take a look at your screen time on social media apps. I guarantee you that you can find 10 minutes a day to take away from social media and give to your new journaling habit.
More than taking the actual time to sit down and journal, people are afraid of what they may find. When we spend time on social media we are most often distracting our brain with things that do not matter to our goals, our businesses, or our lives as a whole. Can you find educating and empowering content on social media? Absolutely! Can you gain new clients and sell your products and grow your business on social media? Absolutely! Social media is a tool and it’s up to you to determine how it works for you.
Creating a Fitness Routine You Enjoy
This is going to be a hot button issue if I give advice, so I’ll share my own story instead. For years, I wanted to be fit and strong and thin and be someone who went to the gym consistently. But I wasn’t ready to let go of my watch-tv-on-the-couch nights or my “winddown wine” after work wrapped up. I said I wanted to exercise, but I wasn’t willing to let go of waking up late in order to get the workout done in the morning. I said I wanted to level up, but I didn’t want to let go of those old patterns. And I didn’t want to let go of the excuses that I was making (which were always someone else’s fault).
Then I had a moment of realization a little over two years ago. If I didn’t let go of those old habits, I could let go of the opportunities to hike harder trails, and being active well into “old age”, and being able to be strong and confident. I wasn’t willing to let go of those long term goals, so I started leveling up from my on-the-couch self. I literally got up and started moving, choosing exercises and habits that served me AND that I enjoyed. Since then, I always make time for exercise because it is fueling not only my present but my future self. I make time for movement because I want to move freely for as long as I have on this earth. I make time for fitness because it’s more enjoyable to breathe easier and be more self-sufficient. I make time for fitness because it is who I am - I am a fit person, and a fit person takes care of themselves.
You may not want to let go of an hour in your morning or evening to exercise. You may not want to let go of the post-work drink. You may not want to let go of TV time with your roommate/partner/spouse/kids. Maybe the question to ask yourself is, what are you NOT willing to let go of? The turning point for you may lie in the answer to that question.
Taking Your Business to the Next Phase of Growth
This is a spicy one, for sure! When you start out as an entrepreneur, it can feel like you have to take any and every opportunity that comes your way. Ones that pay you next to nothing, ones that pay you literally nothing, ones your family requests of you, ones that require you to veer away from your main focus and purpose. In those early days, it can seem that the only way to level up is by saying yes to everything… and then burning out.
It can be scary to let go of your habit of accepting every giveaway collaboration, or free project for “exposure”, or clients with smaller projects that aren’t in line with your service offerings, or vendors that once served you well but no longer do.
When you choose to level up your business, you’ll have to let go of the belief that your product or service is for EVERYONE. It’s not, and that’s a tough one to let go of because you want to serve as many people as you can. When you let go of wanting to serve everyone, you can focus on serving the right people with intention, focus, and impeccable service.
When you let go of the habit of casting the wide net, you’ll start to get more fish. When you narrow down, you expand opportunities. It may sound contradicting, but it works.
Now what?
These are just a few examples of how leveling up requires letting go, and there are dozens more I didn’t get into (we’ll save those for my book). If you really want to level up in some area of your life, ask yourself the following questions (and journal the answers!) to figure out where you can start letting go:
What relationships are no longer serving my business well?
What habits are causing my fitness goals more harm than good?
What people are holding me back with their words and actions?
What types of clients find value in my product or service?
Where am I spending my time and not getting anything in return?
What is one thing I can change in my day to help the day go better?
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