Make A Choice
One of the things that frustrates me most is when people have the opportunity to change their circumstances, and they choose not to. I see it all the time - people who think it’s not worth the time/money/energy, that think they’re not worth it, that think it’s “too late” for them, or don’t believe things can actually change. These people make the choice to stay where they are, even if all they want is to get out.
(If you’re feeling triggered by my perspective, or if this sounds a lot like you, I encourage you to keep reading. Our triggers let us know where we are not yet free, and where there is work still to be done. Make the choice to grow!)
The Person I Used To Be
The thing is, I used to be that person. I chose to remain stuck for years in my job and my life because it seemed easier than putting in any work to make a change. I made the choice to watch my inspiration and motivation and energy dwindle away, all while putting the blame for my circumstances on anything and everything but myself. It wasn’t until my therapist at the time said, “You know you have a choice. What do YOU want to do?” that I started thinking I had any say in my own life. I truly didn’t believe I could do anything to change my circumstances until she pointed out the fact that I did have a choice. I could choose to stay or I could choose to change. Only I could make the decision, and take the responsibility that comes with the choice. I chose to change.
I had reached my version of rock-bottom before I opened myself up enough to see the truth - that my life was a reflection of the choices I’d been making for years. Having someone be direct and genuine in their questioning literally changed the direction of my life. I don’t know where I’d be if I never had that encounter - probably still letting others dictate my value and worth. I’m so grateful to that therapist for seeing into my massive blindspots, for caring about me as a person, and for challenging me when I needed it most.
Since I made that choice, I’ve radically changed my life. I’ve let go of friendships, of communities, of mindsets, and of much more - all things that no longer reflected who I was and where I was going. I went all in on my personal growth, self development, healthy habits, physical health and fitness, and values. I started my coaching business over a year ago in the pure desire to help other people stop making excuses for themselves and start building the life they want.
I’m writing this in hopes that someone reading this will see themselves in my story, and truly recognize that there is a choice they can make to drastically change their life. I want that person to understand that if they make the choice to grow, and work at it every day, they will be unstoppable.
Investing In Myself
A couple years ago, I started investing in my personal growth. It started off simple - leaving the bad-for-me job, developing a journaling practice, reestablishing boundaries, moving my body more, reading more, writing more. I took myself a long way on my own, all because I made the first choice to make a change. For me that first choice was to leave a job, but for you that first choice could be much, much smaller. It could be writing down one thing you’re grateful for every day. It could be choosing to drink more water. It could be distancing yourself from relationships that aren’t healthy for you. It could be choosing to recognize you are worthy because you’re human.
Once I took myself as far as I could go alone, I started investing in myself even more. I joined a Mastermind group filled with incredible people who are focused, purposeful, and who love to empower others to live life BIG. I hired a coach to help me define my vision and build a company with purpose. I chose to invest my money in something that would give me massive returns for a long time to come. A lot of people are scared to make this level of investment in themselves because they don’t get a trophy or medal or physical thing to show for their investment. Personal growth is not a product you can buy and have instant gratification from receiving - it’s not something to put on social media or on top of your mantle.
No, this is the invisible work, the deep work. This is the work that is intimidating and rewarding and fulfilling and life changing. This is work that takes place inside you, and lives inside you until you’ve elevated yourself so much that it starts to show to the outside world.
After over a year of coaching and Mastermind group participation, I invested even further into a weekend of deep work focused on realigning myself with my values and future. Sounds pretty big, right? It was big and deep and required intentionality and focus for it to really work. And it did. I didn’t come home with a certificate or a stamp of completion that I could show to the world. What I came home with was an authentic and purposeful set of values and rules that I created to build the life I envision for myself. I came home with renewed focus and determination to share my message with others and to help anyone who wants to be helped. I came home with clarity and vision for myself and a sharpened set of tools to give to my clients.
You’re Worth It
This is the work that matters, to me at least. I don’t care about certifications or badges or follower counts. I care about doing work that has lifelong, transformative impact. I care about doing work that is focused on helping others create the lives THEY want for themselves. I care about sharing my story far and wide in the hopes that even one person is impacted in a way that reminds them they do have a choice.
The real purpose of this entire collection of words is to remind you that you have a choice. You can choose to stay, or you can choose to grow. If you choose to grow, there is always a investment. That investment includes time, money, focus, priorities, energy. The more you invest, the greater your returns. The more you invest intentionally, and you will open up doors to opportunities you never imagined for yourself. It all starts with saying yes to yourself, and yes to growth.