Imposter Syndrome
Imposter syndrome is becoming more of a mainstream topic these days, but it is still one that can make us feel alone or unseen or like we have no way of moving forward. Sometimes imposter syndrome can feel like spinning the Wheel of Fortune wheel. Some days you land on the big money, some days you land on zero. Big money is when you feel confident, secure, and sure of what you’re doing. Zero is when you feel lost, unworthy, and have no idea where to go next. The wheel is always changing places and without any strategic action on our part, your attitude can be dictated by where you land on the wheel that day. That’s an exhausting way to live.
I lived in that exhaustion for years. I’ve been told multiple times throughout my career that my imposter syndrome would be the downfall of my career as a leader. At that time, I wasn’t being coached into a different way of thinking or being encouraged to focus on my strengths, where I could truly make a big impact. I simply wasn’t fitting into the box I was told was my place, so I was given two options - figure it out or fail. Spoiler alert - what I figured out was that I didn’t belong in that job, and so I left. That was the first time I started taking real responsibility for my circumstances and choices.
When I left that job, I was filled with mostly self-doubt, fear of the unknown, and major levels of imposter syndrome. After years of being told I had such high imposter syndrome, it felt like it had become my entire identity. I felt like an imposter in my job, and when I left to take a break from work, I felt like an imposter of someone trying to better herself. I had a lot to work through in terms of my mindset, self-image, and what my purpose was (did I even have a purpose?). It was a daunting choice to make, because once you commit to growing yourself, it’s a lifelong commitment. The work never stops, and that can be intimidating!
Now that I’m doing the deep work (choosing to dig out the old crap beliefs about myself), I’ve realized when I was in that job and that season of myself, I was trying to check off the boxes on someone else’s version of success. That was why I felt like an imposter, and why I was always so miserable. I didn’t know what my own version of success even looked like, so I didn’t know how to start pursuing it. I chose to stay where I was because at least it was a known entity…even if that entity was dragging me down.
Thankfully, I learned that if I wanted to grow my mindset, my wealth, my purpose…I had to be surrounded by people who were doing the same thing. I wasn’t going to get better if I was choosing to spend time with people who were content with staying the same or even going backwards. To move forward, I needed to be surrounded by people who were moving forward. Enter my coach and my Mastermind group, who have been a key element in my growth and success as a person.
When I began making an intentional effort to spend time with people that were taking responsibility for their lives and choosing to change themselves for the better, I was given a whole new level of accountability. It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you’re held accountable by other people that are also doing the work. I’ve had more meaningful accomplishments in the past couple years than I did in the previous two decades, because I started surrounding myself with the right people who value me and celebrate me and challenge me. People who never see me as an imposter, and remind me what a badass I am.
Imposter syndrome still shows up every once in a while, but now I know how to respond to it when it does. And I’ve cultivated a set of tools that helps me be strategic in my habits and thought patterns, instead of reactive, so I can choose to control my response instead of the other way around. (Stay tuned for a new guide that shares these tools and habits!)
I’ve now spoken to hundreds of people on the topic of imposter syndrome, giving them the tools and guidance I never received. It’s ironic that I was once told imposter syndrome would be my downfall, and it’s now the reason I get the opportunity to speak to so many amazing people. Sometimes people tell us we have a weakness, because they’re placing their insecurities onto us, trying to bring us to their level. When you have the right people around you, helping shine the light onto you instead of snuffing it out, you’ll start learning what true strength looks like. My strengths are empathy, being able to relate to others stories and experiences, and using my experience to coach others into better ways of growing.
That’s the real purpose of my work - to help people get further, faster, by sharing my knowledge and experiences in work and life. I spent years living beneath my potential, being pushed into boxes thinking it was the only place I belonged, and I wasn’t taking responsibility for any of it. Thankfully, that has all since changed.
It’s my goal to make sure no one feels stuck, directionless, or like they don’t have anyone on their side. I want to help everyone, but I can’t do it for anyone. It starts with taking responsibility for your situation and circumstances and choices, then you can get to work. And if I can help just one person start taking responsibility and see how much potential truly lies within them, I’ve succeeded.